...see a doctor.
OK, so I hate depression meds and anti psychotics. I've been on them before and I despise having to depend on them for emotional balance or sanity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking those who do have to have those meds, but I think they're far too often used and emphasized as solutions to all our damn problems. It's all about how those horrible drug companies market that shit and the depressed American is quick to say, "oh you're right! I don't need to change my outlook or circumstances, I just need to take medication! I have 'chemical imbalance of the brain' just like millions of other Americans!"
I don't want to ever return to being on medication, no matter how unstable my mood swings are.
But...
Jesus Christ, I am feeling shit for no reason and I don't know where it's all coming from. I feel like a ton of bricks is weighing heavily on my back and I don't even know why. I'm not necessarily bothered by anything in particular and there aren't any really big problems in my life at the moment aside from my usual "I hate my family" shit.
Maybe I should go ahead and do what I've been fighting for so long.
I'm not entertaining the idea of antidepressants or anti psychotics.
But I am considering maybe some meds to regulate my hormones. Yes yes, being a female means I have those God damned, unpredictable shitty hormonal fluctuations that send me sky high then to the devils lake of fire in the bowels of hell. In other words, that time of the month is terribly painful emotionally and physically. It's exhausting enough being me everyday always thinking, contemplating and freaking out over shit but keeping it to myself. When I have the added emotional shit on top of it all, it adds some complex crap to the picture.
I hate seeing the doctor though, I get nervous. Oh wait, well I'm almost always nervous anyhow -.-
He's a great guy, just friendly as hell and he listens to me (not to mention he's not a money hungry prick - the guy gave me a year's worth of refills on my heartburn meds so I don't have to see him every couple of months). But still, it's an embarrassing topic for me. Call me modest or shy or whatever...
I also have terrible pains and my pasty white face easily breaks out. I'm not a joy to be around I guess, but no one ever complains now that I think about it. I think it's only me who truly notices. I was angry earlier today, then just apathetic and nauseous before becoming a sad, melancholy pile of mess. I sort of feel like someone beat the shit out of me but at this point I'd let them.
Oh boo hoooooooo, woe is me. I'm whining. HAHAA
God I can't stand myself when I'm like this.
Whining sucks ass. I'm home by myself, unfortunately, without someone else here to give me a swift kick in the ass and say "Shut the fuck up and quit moaning and bitching, Do something useful and stop blogging you sad moronic puddle of 'wwaaaaaa' "
I guess I'll see the doctor soon...damn it.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Top 10 Yuri Anime 2009
Greetings people! Thanks to Erica Friedman, we now have a list of the Top Ten Yuri Anime of 2009
^___^
You may now rejoice.
Her list is found here, on her blog and I must say I was pleased with it. I've never seen "Railgun" but I didn't like the description. I still am thinking about seeing Blue Drop, but I've heard it described as only so-so. Read on to find number one. I love her top two picks!
______________________________________________________
I can personally testify that Sasamekikoto is wonderful and delightful in every way. I'm currently watching it on crunchyroll.com and it's damn near perfect as far as shows go. I love it!
And Aoi Hana daaawwwwww....so cute I could squeeze it!
^___^
You may now rejoice.
Her list is found here, on her blog and I must say I was pleased with it. I've never seen "Railgun" but I didn't like the description. I still am thinking about seeing Blue Drop, but I've heard it described as only so-so. Read on to find number one. I love her top two picks!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Top Ten Yuri Anime of 2009
I probably should have put this disclaimer on the Top Ten Manga of 2009 too, but I always assume that my readers understand that this list is *my opinion*. If you see a series you disagree with, or don't see one you like, then the answer to your questions is, "Because I have a different opinion than you do."
Also, for various reasons I've just combined the list into one again, like I did with Manga. I'll note whether something is available in English, Japanese or both.
And with thoserestatement of the obvious disclaimers, here's MY Top Ten Yuri Anime of 2009!
10. To Aru no Kagaku no Railgun (Japanese)
The Yuri in this series is meant as a joke. It's played as perverted, as over-the-top-uncontrollable, as laughably embarrassing and pointless. Pretty much everything Yuri was in most anime for the last 30 years - a veritable step back into the "blackface" era of Yuri.
But.
Kuroko was in all ways a wonderful person; reliable, intelligent, loyal and friendly. Her feelings for Misaka were, wayyyyyy deep down past the layers of hopeless pervy-ness, probably real.
And frankly, who cares? Railgun was a fun anime with some crappy characteristics and some good ones. It was entertaining, which is why I watch entertainment. So, step back into hopeless, psycho lesbian urges, yes, but it still makes the list at Number 10.
9. Maria Watches Over Us, Season 3 (Japanese & English)
Sachiko would recognize Yumi, even in a panda suit.
8. Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha/ Nanoha As (Japanese & English)
I'm really sorry that these series didn't do better here. There's some issues with the fandom that I wish we could resolve with fire and pain but, below the icky service and tiresome loli, there was an awesome series with the beginnings of a wonderful couple.
For those moments of off-stage quiet, when you can imagine Fate and Nanoha flying together for the sheer fun of it, and for a future Pluffy BedTM that we didn't get to see licensed, but we know is there, this is my Number 8 anime series for the year.
7. Candy Boy (Japanese)
I stopped watching it after 5 episodes, so I have no idea if it got to a place where I would have actually thought it "good," but that's not why Candy Boy is on the list. Clearly, Yuri fandom liked it. That's a truism. But what was most interesting and important about it is that it showed that an ONA - Original Online Animation has a future in Japan, where fans will pay. Will it ever be a realistic model in the west is still a bit up in the air. But, for changing the way Japanese anime companies think about things - and maybe paving the way for a new wave of short, original works - it makes Number Seven.
6. Kanamemo (Japanese & English)
Good heavens, there were some really crappy things in this series. lol But setting aside an elementary school age manager and a mopey protagonist and everything about Haruka, Kanamemo presented us with quite possibly the single most realistic established lesbian couple in anime this year - maybe ever - Yume and Yuuki. They are presented with a surprising amount of empathy, romance and love. They kiss. We don't see, but we know, that they they sleep together. Above all, they are treated as an established couple by the people around them.
I couldn't say it was a "good" anime, but Yuuki and Yume are definitely a great couple.
5. Saki (Japanese & English)
I'd seen this manga on the Japanese Yuri lists forever when the anime began - and my first impression was, "uh, yeah, okay." Sure Saki and Nodoka, sitting in a tree....but, once we got the other schools into the mix, the Yuri rating took off. I know that I'm in a minority, but I still think Momo and Yumi were the best couple of the series. :-)
4. Blue Drop (Japanese & English)
This may well be the last thing I'll ever like by Yoshitomi Akihito. It's true that the anime tromps all over the same tropes he's beaten to death over the last few years, but aside from the Dead Lesbian and the Psycho Lesbian, and the school girls and hopeless romances, this prequel to the Blue Drop manga stands strong as a fascinating "clash of cultures romance." Still holds the record for the best pickup line ever too.
Are you getting excited? This is where I always get a little doki-doki....
3. El Cazador (Japanese & English)
I love Bee Train's Girls With Guns On The Run trilogy. I've loved all of the series for themselves and love them all together as a series. I'm still a bit over the moon that we actually have all *three* series on DVD in English. It's kind of amazing - like an alternate universe in which stuff I like actually gets licensed in the US. Catch me, I'm feeling woozy....
There's no question that this series, as it's sister series in the past did, would make my Top Ten list but, because I love Ellis' "Yes, sir!" and Nadie's "Yuigon attara, dozo" and above all I love Ellis who loves Nadie when her eyes are shining, this series makes Number Three.
2. Sasamekikoto (Japanese & English)
I didn't expect this series to translate as well as it did to anime, but...wow, it did! And I didn't expect people to like it, especially folks who weren't familiar with Yuri tropes, like Aoi's Loser Fangirlyness or Sumika's hopless love for her best friend but, amazingly, it transcended tropes and communicated directly with viewers' hearts.
Sasamekikoto marks the first time an anime has been seen on several high-profile lesbian entertainment sites, and the second time Afterellen.com has carried a Yuri anime. It also marks the truly significant fact that Crunchyroll has made a conscious and conspicuous effort to support and promote Yuri Anime. Heck - they even have a Yuri kisses contest. lol
For all these many reasons, and for others I haven't thought of, but you probably have, Sasamekikoto is my Number Two anime of the Year.
And finally, probably no surprises here...
Aoi Hana (Japanese & English)
It was...beautiful. It was quiet and gentle and real. It was lovingly animated, it was extremely well-adapted from the manga - perhaps slightly better than the manga in places.
It had characters I could wish over for lunch, and a storyline that resonated as one of the absolutely most realistic portrayals of a young woman in love with another woman ever seen in an anime.
It had an Opening sequence that made us smile.
It simulcast in many English-speaking countries an hour after it ran on Japanese TV.
It is, finally, what we have never before had - a gateway Yuri anime.
There was never any question in my mind as I watched this all-too-short season that Aoi Hana was the absolute best Yuri Anime of 2009.
***
I only hope that I can wish 2010 be as good, because besting this is going to be hard. :-) And crichey - look at how much of it came out in English!
One more list to go - check back on New Year's Eve for my Top Ten Overall.
And once more I end with the question - what was YOUR Top Yuri Anime of the year? Tell me in the comments!
Posted by Erica Friedman at 1:32 PMAlso, for various reasons I've just combined the list into one again, like I did with Manga. I'll note whether something is available in English, Japanese or both.
And with those
10. To Aru no Kagaku no Railgun (Japanese)
The Yuri in this series is meant as a joke. It's played as perverted, as over-the-top-uncontrollable, as laughably embarrassing and pointless. Pretty much everything Yuri was in most anime for the last 30 years - a veritable step back into the "blackface" era of Yuri.
But.
Kuroko was in all ways a wonderful person; reliable, intelligent, loyal and friendly. Her feelings for Misaka were, wayyyyyy deep down past the layers of hopeless pervy-ness, probably real.
And frankly, who cares? Railgun was a fun anime with some crappy characteristics and some good ones. It was entertaining, which is why I watch entertainment. So, step back into hopeless, psycho lesbian urges, yes, but it still makes the list at Number 10.
9. Maria Watches Over Us, Season 3 (Japanese & English)
Sachiko would recognize Yumi, even in a panda suit.
8. Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha/ Nanoha As (Japanese & English)
I'm really sorry that these series didn't do better here. There's some issues with the fandom that I wish we could resolve with fire and pain but, below the icky service and tiresome loli, there was an awesome series with the beginnings of a wonderful couple.
For those moments of off-stage quiet, when you can imagine Fate and Nanoha flying together for the sheer fun of it, and for a future Pluffy BedTM that we didn't get to see licensed, but we know is there, this is my Number 8 anime series for the year.
7. Candy Boy (Japanese)
I stopped watching it after 5 episodes, so I have no idea if it got to a place where I would have actually thought it "good," but that's not why Candy Boy is on the list. Clearly, Yuri fandom liked it. That's a truism. But what was most interesting and important about it is that it showed that an ONA - Original Online Animation has a future in Japan, where fans will pay. Will it ever be a realistic model in the west is still a bit up in the air. But, for changing the way Japanese anime companies think about things - and maybe paving the way for a new wave of short, original works - it makes Number Seven.
6. Kanamemo (Japanese & English)
Good heavens, there were some really crappy things in this series. lol But setting aside an elementary school age manager and a mopey protagonist and everything about Haruka, Kanamemo presented us with quite possibly the single most realistic established lesbian couple in anime this year - maybe ever - Yume and Yuuki. They are presented with a surprising amount of empathy, romance and love. They kiss. We don't see, but we know, that they they sleep together. Above all, they are treated as an established couple by the people around them.
I couldn't say it was a "good" anime, but Yuuki and Yume are definitely a great couple.
5. Saki (Japanese & English)
I'd seen this manga on the Japanese Yuri lists forever when the anime began - and my first impression was, "uh, yeah, okay." Sure Saki and Nodoka, sitting in a tree....but, once we got the other schools into the mix, the Yuri rating took off. I know that I'm in a minority, but I still think Momo and Yumi were the best couple of the series. :-)
4. Blue Drop (Japanese & English)
This may well be the last thing I'll ever like by Yoshitomi Akihito. It's true that the anime tromps all over the same tropes he's beaten to death over the last few years, but aside from the Dead Lesbian and the Psycho Lesbian, and the school girls and hopeless romances, this prequel to the Blue Drop manga stands strong as a fascinating "clash of cultures romance." Still holds the record for the best pickup line ever too.
Are you getting excited? This is where I always get a little doki-doki....
3. El Cazador (Japanese & English)
I love Bee Train's Girls With Guns On The Run trilogy. I've loved all of the series for themselves and love them all together as a series. I'm still a bit over the moon that we actually have all *three* series on DVD in English. It's kind of amazing - like an alternate universe in which stuff I like actually gets licensed in the US. Catch me, I'm feeling woozy....
There's no question that this series, as it's sister series in the past did, would make my Top Ten list but, because I love Ellis' "Yes, sir!" and Nadie's "Yuigon attara, dozo" and above all I love Ellis who loves Nadie when her eyes are shining, this series makes Number Three.
2. Sasamekikoto (Japanese & English)
I didn't expect this series to translate as well as it did to anime, but...wow, it did! And I didn't expect people to like it, especially folks who weren't familiar with Yuri tropes, like Aoi's Loser Fangirlyness or Sumika's hopless love for her best friend but, amazingly, it transcended tropes and communicated directly with viewers' hearts.
Sasamekikoto marks the first time an anime has been seen on several high-profile lesbian entertainment sites, and the second time Afterellen.com has carried a Yuri anime. It also marks the truly significant fact that Crunchyroll has made a conscious and conspicuous effort to support and promote Yuri Anime. Heck - they even have a Yuri kisses contest. lol
For all these many reasons, and for others I haven't thought of, but you probably have, Sasamekikoto is my Number Two anime of the Year.
And finally, probably no surprises here...
Aoi Hana (Japanese & English)
It was...beautiful. It was quiet and gentle and real. It was lovingly animated, it was extremely well-adapted from the manga - perhaps slightly better than the manga in places.
It had characters I could wish over for lunch, and a storyline that resonated as one of the absolutely most realistic portrayals of a young woman in love with another woman ever seen in an anime.
It had an Opening sequence that made us smile.
It simulcast in many English-speaking countries an hour after it ran on Japanese TV.
It is, finally, what we have never before had - a gateway Yuri anime.
There was never any question in my mind as I watched this all-too-short season that Aoi Hana was the absolute best Yuri Anime of 2009.
***
I only hope that I can wish 2010 be as good, because besting this is going to be hard. :-) And crichey - look at how much of it came out in English!
One more list to go - check back on New Year's Eve for my Top Ten Overall.
And once more I end with the question - what was YOUR Top Yuri Anime of the year? Tell me in the comments!
______________________________________________________
I can personally testify that Sasamekikoto is wonderful and delightful in every way. I'm currently watching it on crunchyroll.com and it's damn near perfect as far as shows go. I love it!
And Aoi Hana daaawwwwww....so cute I could squeeze it!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Handwriting
I recently had my handwriting analyzed by a machine at the state fair. Well, by "recently" I mean in early November, but that is beside the point.
I always thought handwriting was interesting. I wonder if it truly does reflect anything about ones personality. The logical part of my brain suggests it's all a bunch of hullabaloo, just like palm reading or zodiac signs. However, since there are so many types of writing, I can't help but wonder if it reflects anything about us at all. Even a little?
I personally hate most girls' handwriting. I guess I sound bitchy by admitting I critique such a trivial thing in people, but it doesn't cause me to actually dislike anyone, so don't misunderstand me. I always paid attention to that kind of thing in school, mostly since so many wanted to copy off my paper. I noticed that all the girls had "bubbly" writing. You know what I'm talking about, right? They all look so similar. I don't know if sex has anything to do with it - perhaps girls simply attempt to all have the same pretty, neat bubbly writing solely for it to look like all the other girls' handwriting; I don't know.
Raymond and I were at a booth at the fair and the guy asked us if we wanted our handwriting analyzed. All we had to do was sign our name on a sheet then this machine scanned it. Upon scanning our signatures, the machine would then spit out a paper with details about our personalities simply based on our handwriting. We didn't think it would be accurate, but we did it for shits and giggles.
_______________________________________________________________
Here is what mine said about me:
You pursue your objectives with determination and initiative. (Well, yes I am quite determined. Agreed)
You would be willing to take a calculated risk. (OK, isn't that everybody? Some calculate more than others though, and I think this is where I differ from most)
You seek freedom to be your own person and the chance to prove yourself. (I guess this is true?)
You are an active individual who becomes restless and impatient with insufficient progress. (This part is very true)
Your underlying fear of failure keeps you alert and always on your toes. (OH MY GOD IT SEES THROUGH MY SOUL)
You have a relaxed charm and sense of humor which the opposite sex finds appealing. (I don't know? Maybe? I wouldn't know - most guys stay away from me in areas of romance. Go figure)
You accept what life gives you but you want more. (Yes, sigh, true. I'll always want more and at the same time I'm content with nothing)
______________________________________________________
So what do you think?
Think it's filled with generic statements that can fit just about anyone? Perhaps it's just random bullshit?
DUH!
It's a machine, people!
Of course it's randomly generated crapola.
Still though...it was interesting.
So I decided to perform a small experiment last night while I was at work. I asked a few girls at my work to write the words "Best Buy" on a sheet of paper for my own amusement. Their names and ages are also displayed next to their words.
Naturally, they thought my request for handwriting samples was a little strange, but considering it was coming from me, they obliged. They know I'm a little strange anyhow.
Here are the results:
It's ok, I know what you're thinking.
"Amanda, no one gives a rat's ass about this blog and your handwriting!"
Oh well.
But aside from talking about MY handwriting, am I the only one who studies this kind of shit? Am I the only one who critiques little details like this?
The handwriting of most guys is usually far more messy and varied, but I think I prefer that. I don't like boring, uniform neat letters. Structure is so dull. Irregularity is interesting.
And with that thought, I'm signing off. I'm going to go fold clothes and do more household chores since I can't stand "insufficient progress".
I always thought handwriting was interesting. I wonder if it truly does reflect anything about ones personality. The logical part of my brain suggests it's all a bunch of hullabaloo, just like palm reading or zodiac signs. However, since there are so many types of writing, I can't help but wonder if it reflects anything about us at all. Even a little?
I personally hate most girls' handwriting. I guess I sound bitchy by admitting I critique such a trivial thing in people, but it doesn't cause me to actually dislike anyone, so don't misunderstand me. I always paid attention to that kind of thing in school, mostly since so many wanted to copy off my paper. I noticed that all the girls had "bubbly" writing. You know what I'm talking about, right? They all look so similar. I don't know if sex has anything to do with it - perhaps girls simply attempt to all have the same pretty, neat bubbly writing solely for it to look like all the other girls' handwriting; I don't know.
Raymond and I were at a booth at the fair and the guy asked us if we wanted our handwriting analyzed. All we had to do was sign our name on a sheet then this machine scanned it. Upon scanning our signatures, the machine would then spit out a paper with details about our personalities simply based on our handwriting. We didn't think it would be accurate, but we did it for shits and giggles.
_______________________________________________________________
Here is what mine said about me:
You pursue your objectives with determination and initiative. (Well, yes I am quite determined. Agreed)
You would be willing to take a calculated risk. (OK, isn't that everybody? Some calculate more than others though, and I think this is where I differ from most)
You seek freedom to be your own person and the chance to prove yourself. (I guess this is true?)
You are an active individual who becomes restless and impatient with insufficient progress. (This part is very true)
Your underlying fear of failure keeps you alert and always on your toes. (OH MY GOD IT SEES THROUGH MY SOUL)
You have a relaxed charm and sense of humor which the opposite sex finds appealing. (I don't know? Maybe? I wouldn't know - most guys stay away from me in areas of romance. Go figure)
You accept what life gives you but you want more. (Yes, sigh, true. I'll always want more and at the same time I'm content with nothing)
______________________________________________________
So what do you think?
Think it's filled with generic statements that can fit just about anyone? Perhaps it's just random bullshit?
DUH!
It's a machine, people!
Of course it's randomly generated crapola.
Still though...it was interesting.
So I decided to perform a small experiment last night while I was at work. I asked a few girls at my work to write the words "Best Buy" on a sheet of paper for my own amusement. Their names and ages are also displayed next to their words.
Naturally, they thought my request for handwriting samples was a little strange, but considering it was coming from me, they obliged. They know I'm a little strange anyhow.
Here are the results:
Yes, that last one is me. I wasn't trying to write sloppily or differently; I was just trying to write like I normally do.
So here is how I write:
It's ok, I know what you're thinking.
"Amanda, no one gives a rat's ass about this blog and your handwriting!"
Oh well.
But aside from talking about MY handwriting, am I the only one who studies this kind of shit? Am I the only one who critiques little details like this?
The handwriting of most guys is usually far more messy and varied, but I think I prefer that. I don't like boring, uniform neat letters. Structure is so dull. Irregularity is interesting.
And with that thought, I'm signing off. I'm going to go fold clothes and do more household chores since I can't stand "insufficient progress".
Friday, December 25, 2009
Christmas
Yay, today was Christmas ^__^
So Ray and I exchanged gifts. He got me a new Archos player (fuck ipods, by the way), a Street Fighter blanket W00T, and a new watch. I got him a new jacket, 2 movies, a new video game and a book. My mother came over this morning and I gave her the items we'd bought for her. She loved them but she is easily pleased with gifts since she does have modest taste with material items. She and I are alike in this sense. We both believe too many material possessions are burdensome.
I spent forever baking cookies today since Ray's parents like my chocolate chip cookies from scratch. Once I learned we would later be joining Ray's brother in law's family for Christmas dinner, I had to make an extra batch for more people. Oh noes! I was out of chocolate chips! >=(
So off we were to find an open store on Christmas day. We hit up two stores that we found open along a busy strip called Airline Drive here in Bossier City, but alas! They had no chocolate chips! Finally as we were about to give up Raymond spotted a grocery store open down the block and lo and behold! They had many yummy chocolate chips perfect for baking more delicious cookiessssssss.
I baked more cookies, saw my mom off back to my aunt's house, called my sister and then headed off for dinner with a family I've only met once.
Dinner had its awkward moments, mostly because I don't know anyone there, but it was still good, all things considered. They live out in the deep woods and it is very peaceful there.
Everyone I got gifts for this year was very happy with what they got I think. My sister hasn't received her gifts for her family though, still waiting to hear from her on that. My nephew sounded older over the phone. He is only 7 but he is growing so damn fast. I miss him actually. I really miss that little squirt.
Also to my overseas friend:
Glad you liked the gifts! Very, very glad you liked them in fact! You have no idea how worried I was that you'd not like them, dumb as that may sound. You know how I am lol. All my best to you and yours and I hope you have a happy new year as well.
Well, we are off now. I am a lover of Sherlock Holmes and we are just itching to see the new movie starring Robert Downy Jr. I am thrilled, thrilled thrilled that they made a new Sherlock movie. It's a great way to end the night so I'm signing off now so we can go enjoy it.
Christmas day has been grand.
Goodnight world.
So Ray and I exchanged gifts. He got me a new Archos player (fuck ipods, by the way), a Street Fighter blanket W00T, and a new watch. I got him a new jacket, 2 movies, a new video game and a book. My mother came over this morning and I gave her the items we'd bought for her. She loved them but she is easily pleased with gifts since she does have modest taste with material items. She and I are alike in this sense. We both believe too many material possessions are burdensome.
I spent forever baking cookies today since Ray's parents like my chocolate chip cookies from scratch. Once I learned we would later be joining Ray's brother in law's family for Christmas dinner, I had to make an extra batch for more people. Oh noes! I was out of chocolate chips! >=(
So off we were to find an open store on Christmas day. We hit up two stores that we found open along a busy strip called Airline Drive here in Bossier City, but alas! They had no chocolate chips! Finally as we were about to give up Raymond spotted a grocery store open down the block and lo and behold! They had many yummy chocolate chips perfect for baking more delicious cookiessssssss.
I baked more cookies, saw my mom off back to my aunt's house, called my sister and then headed off for dinner with a family I've only met once.
Dinner had its awkward moments, mostly because I don't know anyone there, but it was still good, all things considered. They live out in the deep woods and it is very peaceful there.
Everyone I got gifts for this year was very happy with what they got I think. My sister hasn't received her gifts for her family though, still waiting to hear from her on that. My nephew sounded older over the phone. He is only 7 but he is growing so damn fast. I miss him actually. I really miss that little squirt.
Also to my overseas friend:
Glad you liked the gifts! Very, very glad you liked them in fact! You have no idea how worried I was that you'd not like them, dumb as that may sound. You know how I am lol. All my best to you and yours and I hope you have a happy new year as well.
Well, we are off now. I am a lover of Sherlock Holmes and we are just itching to see the new movie starring Robert Downy Jr. I am thrilled, thrilled thrilled that they made a new Sherlock movie. It's a great way to end the night so I'm signing off now so we can go enjoy it.
Christmas day has been grand.
Goodnight world.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Barbaric Behavior or Justice?
I wish I could get feedback on this story but I'll just post it here for all to see:
______________________________________________________________
By BABAR DOGAR, Associated Press Writer Babar Dogar, Associated Press Writer – Tue Dec 22, 10:22 am ET
LAHORE, Pakistan – A Pakistani court has ordered the noses and ears of two men cut off after they did the same thing to a young woman whose family spurned one of the men's marriage proposal, a prosecutor said Tuesday.
The anti-terrorism court in the eastern city of Lahore said it was applying Islamic law by ordering the punishment.
Lahore prosecutor Chaudhry Ali Ahmed said one of the accused, Sher Mohammad, was a cousin of the 19-year-old woman and wanted to marry her. Her parents refused his proposal.
Sher Mohammad and a friend, Amanat Mohammad, were accused of kidnapping the woman and cutting off her ears and nose in late September in the Raiwind area of Lahore.
The court on Monday also sentenced each man to 50 years in prison and told them to pay fines and compensation to the woman amounting to several thousand dollars, the prosecutor said.
Pakistan's legal system has Islamic elements that sometimes lead to orders for harsh punishments, but the sentences are often overturned and rarely carried out. Serious crimes are often referred to anti-terrorism courts in Pakistan because they move faster.
Violence against women, especially attacks by spurned lovers, also occurs frequently in this impoverished South Asian nation.
The men have seven days to appeal the ruling, Ahmed said.
_________________________________________________________
I think that we humans far too often let compassion overcome justice and what SHOULD be done to truly punish those who do wrong.
Now, when I read that the guys were getting their noses and ears cut off, I was freaking mortified!
However, after reading that they'd done the same to another person, I thought, "OK so that's fair and square, they deserve it."
So am I without compassion?
I don't know. I mean the very thought of such a horrific thing really is startlingly traumatizing.
But they did it to someone else first - someone who didn't even merit such treatment. I think it is only fair then but it's very, very unlike our culture. Such treatment is considered barbaric in western societies.
But then again, are our western societies any better? We certainly seem to think so but let's examine how it might have unfolded in America:
The guys would have been locked up once files were charged, but then they might have been able to post bail and get back out on the street until their court date arrived. Of course, that would not be possible if a judge denied them bail. However, their lawyers could beg on their client's behalf and (if they are very good at their jobs) convince a judge to let them out until their case is tried due to that so-called belief that you are "innocent until proven guilty".
A noble intention to defend the innocent and a blessed loophole for the all-too-often guilty.
Which side would win if the lawyers appealed to the judge?
It depends...you know, how good the lawyers are (A.K.A. how expensive they are, ahem), how harsh of a judge you're dealing with (they differ county to county and city to city), whether or not you've had a similar case such as this in the past and the conclusions that were drawn from it, the mood that the judge is in, the weather patterns, phase of the moon, the Chinese zodiac and feng shui of the room, you know: the usual.
Then the case can be pushed back under a PILE of paper work in some secretary's office and all that shit processed and then the scumbag lawyers can ask for more time for their dumb ass clients. Truths can be candy coated, mental illness can be blamed, cultural differences can be cited and loopholes manipulated. The guy may not even show up for court since he is out on bail which would lead to an arrest warrant. Still though, you have to find the guy to arrest him, you know.
The case might be brought before a judge and jury finally. Bullshit can be presented. It just depends on who has more money - the defendant or prosecutor. Naturally, we Americans say that all have the right to an attorney but if you have an attorney who has been assigned to you by the state, they have no personal interest in the case other than keeping up their win/lose ratio on paper. In reality, they don't give a shit about whether or not you get your justice because they are still being paid at the end of the day. You are business to them and they sleep just fine either way.
A jury will be composed of people. People are emotional beings. People listen. They listen to lawyers who manipulate and twist truths to sugar coat them and make them easier to swallow. In reality, they're just shoveling sugar sweet shit to the jury and they have no choice but to sit and eat it because they are legally obligated to show up to court for their jury duty. So these people listen to these lawyers and their emotions drive them to create a verdict based on what they feel was right or wrong.
Who is to say that justice will be done at the end of the day? Who will the jury side with?
Usually it's the person with the better lawyer in cases that have no foundational set of laws with which to judge the guilty. When it's "his word against his word" or "he said, she said" crap, you can bet the better lawyer gets the upper hand. And good lawyers don't come cheap, why should they? After all, they have a right to charge out the ass for their services because they're AMERICAN! They have the right to make as much money as they want and no one can stop that. When you're good at something, you know you're good. You use it to your advantage and by God they do.
So who would be the winner in this case if it were tried in America?
Easy, the guy with more money.
SO is this really justice?
Can we really say that our system of justice is any better than the system in Pakistan?
And are we REALLY the more civilized nation?
Are we REALLY better than these savage people?
Are we?
______________________________________________________________
By BABAR DOGAR, Associated Press Writer Babar Dogar, Associated Press Writer – Tue Dec 22, 10:22 am ET
LAHORE, Pakistan – A Pakistani court has ordered the noses and ears of two men cut off after they did the same thing to a young woman whose family spurned one of the men's marriage proposal, a prosecutor said Tuesday.
The anti-terrorism court in the eastern city of Lahore said it was applying Islamic law by ordering the punishment.
Lahore prosecutor Chaudhry Ali Ahmed said one of the accused, Sher Mohammad, was a cousin of the 19-year-old woman and wanted to marry her. Her parents refused his proposal.
Sher Mohammad and a friend, Amanat Mohammad, were accused of kidnapping the woman and cutting off her ears and nose in late September in the Raiwind area of Lahore.
The court on Monday also sentenced each man to 50 years in prison and told them to pay fines and compensation to the woman amounting to several thousand dollars, the prosecutor said.
Pakistan's legal system has Islamic elements that sometimes lead to orders for harsh punishments, but the sentences are often overturned and rarely carried out. Serious crimes are often referred to anti-terrorism courts in Pakistan because they move faster.
Violence against women, especially attacks by spurned lovers, also occurs frequently in this impoverished South Asian nation.
The men have seven days to appeal the ruling, Ahmed said.
_________________________________________________________
I think that we humans far too often let compassion overcome justice and what SHOULD be done to truly punish those who do wrong.
Now, when I read that the guys were getting their noses and ears cut off, I was freaking mortified!
However, after reading that they'd done the same to another person, I thought, "OK so that's fair and square, they deserve it."
So am I without compassion?
I don't know. I mean the very thought of such a horrific thing really is startlingly traumatizing.
But they did it to someone else first - someone who didn't even merit such treatment. I think it is only fair then but it's very, very unlike our culture. Such treatment is considered barbaric in western societies.
But then again, are our western societies any better? We certainly seem to think so but let's examine how it might have unfolded in America:
The guys would have been locked up once files were charged, but then they might have been able to post bail and get back out on the street until their court date arrived. Of course, that would not be possible if a judge denied them bail. However, their lawyers could beg on their client's behalf and (if they are very good at their jobs) convince a judge to let them out until their case is tried due to that so-called belief that you are "innocent until proven guilty".
A noble intention to defend the innocent and a blessed loophole for the all-too-often guilty.
Which side would win if the lawyers appealed to the judge?
It depends...you know, how good the lawyers are (A.K.A. how expensive they are, ahem), how harsh of a judge you're dealing with (they differ county to county and city to city), whether or not you've had a similar case such as this in the past and the conclusions that were drawn from it, the mood that the judge is in, the weather patterns, phase of the moon, the Chinese zodiac and feng shui of the room, you know: the usual.
Then the case can be pushed back under a PILE of paper work in some secretary's office and all that shit processed and then the scumbag lawyers can ask for more time for their dumb ass clients. Truths can be candy coated, mental illness can be blamed, cultural differences can be cited and loopholes manipulated. The guy may not even show up for court since he is out on bail which would lead to an arrest warrant. Still though, you have to find the guy to arrest him, you know.
The case might be brought before a judge and jury finally. Bullshit can be presented. It just depends on who has more money - the defendant or prosecutor. Naturally, we Americans say that all have the right to an attorney but if you have an attorney who has been assigned to you by the state, they have no personal interest in the case other than keeping up their win/lose ratio on paper. In reality, they don't give a shit about whether or not you get your justice because they are still being paid at the end of the day. You are business to them and they sleep just fine either way.
A jury will be composed of people. People are emotional beings. People listen. They listen to lawyers who manipulate and twist truths to sugar coat them and make them easier to swallow. In reality, they're just shoveling sugar sweet shit to the jury and they have no choice but to sit and eat it because they are legally obligated to show up to court for their jury duty. So these people listen to these lawyers and their emotions drive them to create a verdict based on what they feel was right or wrong.
Who is to say that justice will be done at the end of the day? Who will the jury side with?
Usually it's the person with the better lawyer in cases that have no foundational set of laws with which to judge the guilty. When it's "his word against his word" or "he said, she said" crap, you can bet the better lawyer gets the upper hand. And good lawyers don't come cheap, why should they? After all, they have a right to charge out the ass for their services because they're AMERICAN! They have the right to make as much money as they want and no one can stop that. When you're good at something, you know you're good. You use it to your advantage and by God they do.
So who would be the winner in this case if it were tried in America?
Easy, the guy with more money.
SO is this really justice?
Can we really say that our system of justice is any better than the system in Pakistan?
And are we REALLY the more civilized nation?
Are we REALLY better than these savage people?
Are we?
Monday, December 21, 2009
Where we stand
I suppose I left my relationship status a little open and mysterious a couple of months ago. For a while I was really scratching my head, trying to figure out just what to do with my situation of being in love with a person and yet feeling that I would be happier with a woman instead.
I didn't think about how I was letting others' views of "normalcy" taint my own opinions on what a so-called healthy relationship should actually consist of.
This is what it consists of for us...
Yes, US:
I was simply trying to click the "take picture" button with my laptop's built in webcam while Ray was busy trying to smooch on my face heh (not to mention he is trying not to laugh in this picture) ^-^'
Too often we are so busy trying to fit into the cookie cutter standards that are unknowingly set by our peers and cultures for our relationship patterns and behaviors that we simply do not examine what we truly are seeking in our quest for contentment with a life partner. In other words, we lose our originality.
There is not originality now in our relationships here in America. We now are simply all falling into those set standards that eagerly feed stereotypes and cliches.
I feel an amazing sense of freedom now in my relationship just knowing that I don't have to be like them.
I've never paid any mind to others' opinions in regards to how I should live my life in other areas, so why should I start with the subject of romantic relationships? Surely I can do better than that.
I didn't realize how much I was letting it get to me: the whole concept of, "You have to have sex to be happy."
or
"If you don't have lots of sex then your relationship is 'unhealthy' ."
Really, now. Is that so?
We are proof that it isn't.
OK, so I'm NOT going to divulge secrets of my sex life now at this point, but lets just say that we have reached a point where we are very, very content. We are not driven by the constant desires that most people are. In our society, we as individuals think we "have to have sex!" simply because it's so damned emphasized within our media, culture and peers. Aren't we higher than the animals that we eat? I thought we were...
Throughout all my searching for answers about whether or not we are meant to be together, Raymond always maintained his heartfelt, simple and honest truth and kept reiterating to me that same truth: it's ok if you don't want sex constantly, we love each other and that won't change.
I thought my lack of attraction to him was a real problem.
However, I also further examined my attraction to people in general and I found that I'd not really changed all that much throughout my life. My status is simply this: I may find some people attractive or beautiful, but I'm not really that physically into anyone - man or woman.
Don't get me wrong, I have encountered rare people who just are so freaking gorgeous that it can just make your heart ache to even look at them. Despite that, I don't go nuts over them like, "Omg I just creamed my panties, ur so hawt!" (sorry for the disturbing description)
I guess I am truly more attracted to women at the end of the day, but I'd have to be in love to actually want them physically.
I also discovered that my attraction really rides on my feelings. If I love someone, they are attractive to me. Now Ray isn't your typical guy at all. His Asian features are hard to place but somehow he comes out looking adorable to me. His hair always stands straight up and I always play with it and tell him I love his "fuzz". Poor guy, he's been losing his hair for a few years now but I tell him I love him just the same and that I have enough hair for the both of us. I'm also glad he's mostly hairless except for his face - he can grow a beard very quickly. He's got a huge chest and it's very warm to cuddle up to. His hands are large but he's the most gentle giant you could possibly meet.
He likes to sew; I like to create more.
He likes the color pink (yes, I kid you not - he has a pink MP3 player, motorcycle helmet, etc); I like whatever color my hand happens to land on when picking out my shirt for the day.
He is versatile in his views of good company and can get along with anyone and win them over with what we have now begun to call "the Raymond charm"; I am stubborn in my ways of tolerance (and lack thereof) and he thinks it's cute how I can be easily irritated by my peers.
I hate make up; he loves make up and thinks it's fun to play with.
Raymond can run in heels (Yes, again, I shit you not) but I would simply break my ankle. I've never worn heels and never WILL, damn it.
Raymond can just turn on the radio and listen to whatever song is playing and say, "Yeah this jams woooo" but I constantly flip through it and usually end up either putting in something from my collection of CDs or turning it to talk radio.
Raymond likes YAOI; I love YURI. We fully support each others habits and buy stuff to feed those addictions. He says he loves the relationship drama created in those YAOI stories.
Ray can play with a piece of string and think it's awesome but I am just picky, picky. I usually end up reading news or some random information somewhere.
Raymond eats whatever is in front of him and says, "hmm this is great! What is it?" I carefully select stuff from my limited list of foods, but I am not opposed to trying new things as long as it doesn't smell bad. That hasn't ever stopped Ray though.
Anyhow, we balance each other. I'm far too serious but I am trying to be more laid back. Raymond has helped me in this sense and he wasn't even meaning to - he was just being himself. He is far too laid back sometimes though and so I help him in this area. Some things he should take seriously and doesn't and I've kind of gotten him on a better track. I won't go into details on those and start naming Ray's flaws but I'm not hesitant to go into detail about my own.
So here we are, a non traditional couple just enjoying life and not caring about what others think of our relationship. We're pretty much happy as clams not worrying about fitting into the "normal standards". If we are content as we are, why change?
Don't let others decide for you what is healthy or normal.
I didn't think about how I was letting others' views of "normalcy" taint my own opinions on what a so-called healthy relationship should actually consist of.
This is what it consists of for us...
Yes, US:
Blargh, yes I know I look like I am either hesitant to kiss him or that I simply do not know how to kiss. Well, neither are correct, damn it.
*folds arms and runs off to a corner to sit stubbornly staring ahead*
I was simply trying to click the "take picture" button with my laptop's built in webcam while Ray was busy trying to smooch on my face heh (not to mention he is trying not to laugh in this picture) ^-^'
Too often we are so busy trying to fit into the cookie cutter standards that are unknowingly set by our peers and cultures for our relationship patterns and behaviors that we simply do not examine what we truly are seeking in our quest for contentment with a life partner. In other words, we lose our originality.
There is not originality now in our relationships here in America. We now are simply all falling into those set standards that eagerly feed stereotypes and cliches.
I feel an amazing sense of freedom now in my relationship just knowing that I don't have to be like them.
I've never paid any mind to others' opinions in regards to how I should live my life in other areas, so why should I start with the subject of romantic relationships? Surely I can do better than that.
I didn't realize how much I was letting it get to me: the whole concept of, "You have to have sex to be happy."
or
"If you don't have lots of sex then your relationship is 'unhealthy' ."
Really, now. Is that so?
We are proof that it isn't.
OK, so I'm NOT going to divulge secrets of my sex life now at this point, but lets just say that we have reached a point where we are very, very content. We are not driven by the constant desires that most people are. In our society, we as individuals think we "have to have sex!" simply because it's so damned emphasized within our media, culture and peers. Aren't we higher than the animals that we eat? I thought we were...
Throughout all my searching for answers about whether or not we are meant to be together, Raymond always maintained his heartfelt, simple and honest truth and kept reiterating to me that same truth: it's ok if you don't want sex constantly, we love each other and that won't change.
I thought my lack of attraction to him was a real problem.
However, I also further examined my attraction to people in general and I found that I'd not really changed all that much throughout my life. My status is simply this: I may find some people attractive or beautiful, but I'm not really that physically into anyone - man or woman.
Don't get me wrong, I have encountered rare people who just are so freaking gorgeous that it can just make your heart ache to even look at them. Despite that, I don't go nuts over them like, "Omg I just creamed my panties, ur so hawt!" (sorry for the disturbing description)
I guess I am truly more attracted to women at the end of the day, but I'd have to be in love to actually want them physically.
I also discovered that my attraction really rides on my feelings. If I love someone, they are attractive to me. Now Ray isn't your typical guy at all. His Asian features are hard to place but somehow he comes out looking adorable to me. His hair always stands straight up and I always play with it and tell him I love his "fuzz". Poor guy, he's been losing his hair for a few years now but I tell him I love him just the same and that I have enough hair for the both of us. I'm also glad he's mostly hairless except for his face - he can grow a beard very quickly. He's got a huge chest and it's very warm to cuddle up to. His hands are large but he's the most gentle giant you could possibly meet.
He likes to sew; I like to create more.
He likes the color pink (yes, I kid you not - he has a pink MP3 player, motorcycle helmet, etc); I like whatever color my hand happens to land on when picking out my shirt for the day.
He is versatile in his views of good company and can get along with anyone and win them over with what we have now begun to call "the Raymond charm"; I am stubborn in my ways of tolerance (and lack thereof) and he thinks it's cute how I can be easily irritated by my peers.
I hate make up; he loves make up and thinks it's fun to play with.
Raymond can run in heels (Yes, again, I shit you not) but I would simply break my ankle. I've never worn heels and never WILL, damn it.
Raymond can just turn on the radio and listen to whatever song is playing and say, "Yeah this jams woooo" but I constantly flip through it and usually end up either putting in something from my collection of CDs or turning it to talk radio.
Raymond likes YAOI; I love YURI. We fully support each others habits and buy stuff to feed those addictions. He says he loves the relationship drama created in those YAOI stories.
Ray can play with a piece of string and think it's awesome but I am just picky, picky. I usually end up reading news or some random information somewhere.
Raymond eats whatever is in front of him and says, "hmm this is great! What is it?" I carefully select stuff from my limited list of foods, but I am not opposed to trying new things as long as it doesn't smell bad. That hasn't ever stopped Ray though.
Anyhow, we balance each other. I'm far too serious but I am trying to be more laid back. Raymond has helped me in this sense and he wasn't even meaning to - he was just being himself. He is far too laid back sometimes though and so I help him in this area. Some things he should take seriously and doesn't and I've kind of gotten him on a better track. I won't go into details on those and start naming Ray's flaws but I'm not hesitant to go into detail about my own.
So here we are, a non traditional couple just enjoying life and not caring about what others think of our relationship. We're pretty much happy as clams not worrying about fitting into the "normal standards". If we are content as we are, why change?
Don't let others decide for you what is healthy or normal.
Thank You Jesus
Christ Jesus, I praise your holy name in thanks for taking away my boss Laura for an ENTIRE WEEK so that I don't have to see her face and endure her squeaky, whiny voice as heard when she gripes at me like she does almost everyday.
-Amen
-Amen
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